The Beer Leaguer

Help! I Hate My Beer League Team

• The Beer Leaguer • Season 2 • Episode 7

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At some point everyone is bound to go through it, you realize you don't like the people you play beer league hockey with. 

So what do you do?

In this episode I talk about evaluating what is keeping you from enjoying hockey on your current team and different ways to correct it. 

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THE_BEER_LEAGUER:

Hey, everybody, and welcome to another episode of The Beer Leaguer Podcast. This episode, all about what do you do if you wind up not liking your beer league team? So you've been playing with a team for maybe a couple of months, maybe a couple of years, and you're just not having fun with it anymore. What do you do? What's the process you go through to figure out what the next steps are in this? Or are you destined to wind up playing adult recreational hockey sports with a bunch of guys you don't like and you're not having a good time with? No, you're definitely not. Beer League is supposed to be fun. You should be having a good time. So if you're not having a good time, take a step back and try and assess what it is that you don't like. There's only a couple of things that it could be, and each one of those kind of means a different resolution for what you should do. So first thing to look at and see just, are you just not having fun because you're just not enjoying playing hockey anymore? You know, do you need some time away? Do you have life circumstances, things that have changed recently that just require you to spend too much time doing other stuff and hockey's, you know, kind of gone down your list of priorities, and it's just not as much fun as it used to be right now. It does mean you can't go back to playing hockey, but maybe it means right now isn't the best time to be playing hockey. It's a thing that happens. In Beer League especially, you have guys that, you know, change jobs, have different schedules now, get married, have kids, all kinds of stuff like that are huge life changes. You know, and maybe you need to take the rest of the season off or skip a year or something like that for Beer League. Nothing wrong with doing that. But I will say a big caveat with this of saying nothing wrong with doing that. Let your team know, or at least let your captain know. You know, if you're thinking, hey, I think I need to take a year off, maybe you want to step back and just be a reserve player, something like that for a year. And afterwards, you're planning on coming back. Just let them know. That's all. You know, and don't do it last minute. That's the best thing. If you're thinking about it now and you're, you know, probably most Beer Leagues when this episode comes out, most Beer Leagues are kind of nearing the end of their winter schedule or three quarters of the way through it. Now would be the time to say something. Don't wait until a week before the season starts to tell them. That's a jerk move. But if you let them know now and kind of talk through, let them know that, hey, you might just step back a little bit. That's that's the best thing you can do for it. For that, if you realize that it's just you and it's something with you and your schedule, like I said, any kind of life changes with it. The next thing that it could possibly be if you're just not enjoying Beer League anymore is your team. You know, has your team changed a lot? You've heard Mason come on to these episodes a lot, talking about, you know, what makes a good locker room. You heard Mike from Beers on Ice talking about the same thing, good locker room stuff. Maybe your team has kind of changed dynamic recently, you know, and it's just not the same that it used to be. Maybe the team takes it way more seriously than you do or way less seriously than you do, or, you know, maybe they're just a very different group of guys than what you're used to, and the team is just different. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with you saying, hey, don't think this team is for me and you want to find another team. I don't see why anybody would be upset with you for that or why any team would care about that if you were doing that. Again, same caveat I gave before, as long as you're giving your current team ample time to find replacement. But the bonus is, if you've been playing in Beer League already, you know people that are in Beer League, hopefully. Hopefully, you've met a couple of people outside of just your team, and you can tell them, hey, you know, you're looking for another team that whatever, like I said, maybe takes it less seriously, takes it more seriously. You want a team that hangs out more, or a team that hangs out less, because your current team has gotten to be very clicky, or something like that. This is the time to talk to those people. Use these contacts you've made, that you play against, or you see play around you, and you've talked to, and talk to these other teams, you know, and see what they do. And this is really a time to figure out what you liked, or what you wish was happening with your current situation and what's not happening, and make sure you kind of talk to people that are on a team you're going to, and see if that's what they do. You know, if you're playing on a team, you've gotten some different guys on it recently, they take it way too seriously for you. You're just trying to have a good time, you know, once a week, get out, get a little exercise, and hang out with the boys. And these guys are very much a, you know, win at all costs, and they're like, drawing up plays for everything, and just taking it way, way, way more seriously than you want to. Make sure the team that you're going to is more what you're looking for and not more of the same. You don't want to go to another team that's taking it super seriously as well then, because you're not going to have fun with it. So, you know, everybody's an adult. It's Beer League. It's adult hockey. You can ask people. You can talk to people. You know, you don't have to be afraid of it. But that's again, not a big deal. That's what I say with all these things. None of it is a huge deal to move on to a new team. People do it a lot. I mean, some teams stick together for years and years and years. Some teams, every three, four years, they're like a whole different team of people. You know, it's just how it goes. Just how it goes. So, don't be afraid to bring this up and talk to people and kind of see what they do, what they like, and what they don't like with their current teams that they're on. You know, whatever, if it's at your level, and you want to go up, want to go down, whatever, talk to the different people out there. This is why it's important to kind of get to know people outside of your team, you know, people that are in your league outside of your team and talk to them and be friendly with them. You know, so you can have these conversations and hopefully find a team that you're going to enjoy playing with more. The next reason that you might not be liking your Beer League team or having fun playing Beer League anymore is you're not at the right level. This is a pretty common one as people like if you've just joined recently or people that have been around for a long time, kind of at both ends of the spectrum. This is something that you go through of either you just joined and you want to play with a buddy, so you're either playing a little too high, so you're not having fun, or maybe you're playing too low to play with somebody that's a friend of yours, that's very beginner and it's not fun for you because it's not a challenge. At the other end of the spectrum, you're someone that's been around playing hockey for a long time, and hey, maybe you've slowed down a little bit, and you just don't want to be trying to chase around a bunch of kids anymore. That's not as much fun as it used to be. There is, I see nothing and I've never heard anybody complain for someone that goes, hey, I kind of feel like I should be playing up or down a division or two because of how you're playing right now and how much fun it is for it. That requires a lot of self-reflection on your part to really decide if that's what it is. And there's a big difference between you want to play at what you feel is an appropriate level and not, hey, I'm not putting up enough points. I want to drop down a level or two so I can put up points. That's a jerk move. Don't be a jerk. But if you're like, hey, I can't keep up with any of these guys, they're all like just blowing by me and I feel like a pylon out there, I want to drop down a level so maybe I can touch the puck once in a while and contribute to the team. That's not being a jerk. That's a very valid reason to drop down. So be honest with yourself. It's tough to do that. It's tough to be honest about these sorts of things. This is something where talking to teammates, talk to people on other teams, really can probably give you a better evaluation of where your skills are at versus what you think they are. Or also doing the dreaded thing that I know a lot of people don't like to do, watching yourself play, you know, watching a video of yourself in one or two games and seeing how you stack up with everybody. It sucks to sometimes see that if you haven't watched yourself before, but it really can give you a pretty honest view of where you sit and if you should be in a different division than what you're at, a different level with guys. And maybe there's one or two guys on your team that are in the same boat, and it's not just you moving. Maybe it's a couple of you guys move up or move down. Or I know in my league, you'll see happen where it's kind of a team split. You have a team that's in whatever division that they're in, and they're adding more and more guys every year, trying to get better in the division. And eventually, you wind up with this split of guys that are... Half the team is maybe kind of appropriate where they're at, and the other half should drop down, or half of it should move up, and the other half should stay where they're at. And that's, and like I said, in my league, that's a somewhat common thing to have happen every couple of years. It's not weird for that to happen. So maybe it's not just you. Maybe it's a group of guys on your team are thinking that. So doing something like that, if you don't want to completely just go off on your own, and you split with a couple of guys to go somewhere, that's a good way to get to what could be more fun hockey, because fun hockey is competitive hockey. Non-competitive hockey, that's not fun. That's not fun for anybody. If you're playing way too low or way too high, that's just not good times. And if it is something like that where it's not just you, then, hey, you've already got a start of a team going, or maybe there's another team that's doing something similar, and you can kind of swap around with them, or maybe another team is doing a similar thing, and you go, hey, we've got four guys. You've got five guys. Okay, we've got almost a full squad of guys to put this team together that's more appropriate for all of us. Again, like I said before, this is the kind of thing that requires a little self-evaluation. All these things do. And it requires you to talk to people this time on your team, and hopefully know some people outside of your team to also see what they think about it and see if there are those guys that would want to play in some form or an upper or lower division than what you're playing at now. So that's kind of the key to all these things, like I said, I'm going to keep repeating it, is a little self-reflection. That means don't do this right after a game, usually, or right after the season ends or something like that. Don't make any rash decisions and make sure, again, you're not doing this just because, hey, I want to put up more points, not doing that enough. Again, that's a jerk move. Don't be a jerk. Another reason that you might just not be having fun playing Beer League is your league. This is kind of the hardest one to do anything about, but it might just be your league. Some leagues are very small, one-night-a-week leagues somewhere, and there's not much you can do about the level of competition because it's all over the place. And there's not a whole lot of movement to go around. It might be one level throughout, and every team is extremely varied, or hey, we've got one team of guys that are all really good and played like semi-pro, and then another team of people that, well, they're pretty much beginners, that none of them really skated until three years ago. And then in the middle, you have teams that have a mixture of both of those things. And that might not be fun for you. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do necessarily in a league to fix that. Maybe you could try taking over the league and offering some sort of way to mix up and create divisions or fix divisions or something like that. But that is a very large undertaking usually, and probably not something that is worth the headache for it. But that, you know, things like that is when it's maybe time to look at playing somewhere else. Maybe try and find another, you know, one night a week league that you can find somewhere. Maybe try and find a larger league that you can play in, that's not just at one rank if there are any around you. This is also where you can start looking at things of, you know, and I've seen people do this, of completely stopping playing regular league hockey and getting into, you know, just going to pick up nights, getting into like a couple good pick up games that there are and things like that. And they find that to be a lot more fun than playing in a regular league that they have. Around me and I think around most places where there is a decent sight scene of beer league hockey, there is usually like over 50 leagues or even over 40 leagues and leagues for like, there's almost always like a policeman and firefighter league that, you know, if you're one of those getting to something like that. A lot of times there's like some kind of you have a pretty good high school hockey scene around you. There might be like some alumni leagues for local high school, you know, former players that played if that's something you'd be interested in or something like that. So it might be time to kind of switch your league. You can't really do a whole lot to fix your league usually, unless you want to take on a whole lot of responsibility, which might be more headache than it's worth just for playing. But maybe you can switch something. If you play in a larger league, maybe look for, you know, a single, league like that, like just, hey, it's a Sunday night league at this rink, and that's it. Or, like I said, I know a lot of guys that just kind of decide they don't like the competitive nature of stuff. They don't really like where they were playing and just switch to they play regularly at an organized pickup that goes on. And a lot of times these organized pickups turn into almost like a league because a lot of times they'll have the the same guys showing up every week and your teams are even if you mix them up, you know, it's pretty similar, you know, if you have, say, 20 guys every week coming to a pickup and it's the same 16, 17 guys every week after a while, you kind of get used to it. And it is very much like a league already that you have. But, you know, a lot of times that can be a lot more fun, a lot more casual and a very different vibe than a competitive league night. So that might be something, you know, to be interested to check out and and see if that's something that you prefer doing versus, you know, playing in a regular organized league that, you know, can play multiple nights a week or something like that. OK, so to summarize, if you're just not like playing hockey anymore and you're trying to figure out what to do, how do you get your love back for playing in Beer League? Different things to look at. Yeah, one, look at yourself. Make sure it's not life changes or situation changes that you've had that maybe you should be playing right now. Maybe you should scale it back to something. Maybe you're playing on too many teams and you want to should be playing on less teams or you shouldn't be playing as many games as you are or something like that. You know, if it's something from you, easy to control. Maybe it's something with your team. Hey, look for a new team. Like I said, find different teams to play on, you know, in different divisions. Move up or move down to what you think is appropriate for yourself. Maybe it's a group of guys do something like that and find a more appropriate place to play. Maybe it's your league. Can't always fix your league. Can't fix everything. But maybe find something else to play in. Maybe it's a different league. Maybe, you know, a different league at a different rank. Something like that. Maybe it is not an organized league at all anymore. Maybe you're just playing pick up games regularly. Or maybe it goes from playing in a regular league to just like, hey, I play in the Sunday night over 50 league or something like that. And that is a lot more fun for you. And you have a good time with it. You know, so there is there's different things to look at. And all of them kind of have the common theme of you have to be able to step back, look at yourself and really evaluate what it is that you're not liking about it and that you do want to continue playing beer league hockey. And it's not just, hey, you don't, you're not liking it hockey anymore. That it's something that you can change. And if you want to take a large step back, a little sidestep to something else, or a big step back and see which one of those it is. And also talking to other people, get outside voices to see what they think, where they think you should be, what you should be doing, what you're not doing, what they think you might like doing more, and kind of see where you go from there. We bring up all the time on these shows. A big thing is, it's all about having fun. It's all about making pals, having buddies that you play hockey with, and getting to do fun stuff with them. If you enjoy hanging out in the locker room and drinking beers after the game and nobody else does, and you're bummed out, fine guys like to do that. If you're all about getting out there, and you want to figure out with your team, okay, here's who's running Power Play 1, and we're doing an umbrella formation, and on penalty kill 2, I'll play on that, and we're going to do a diamond defense structure. If that's what you want to do, fine guys that are into that. There's probably people around that would enjoy doing that with you. You know, as long as you can do that, look for them, but this requires you to talk to other people that play hockey, talk to, you know, your teammates, people on other teams, people all over with hockey. This is one of the great things about the Beer League community is people that play in Beer League love to talk about hockey. They really, really do. Almost all of us that are playing Beer League hockey is because we are big hockey nerds and love to talk about stuff like this, you know, and help evaluate where we think you should play and what we think you'd be good at. So open up the dialogue, talk to people, get some advice from other people on where they think you should or shouldn't be, and go from there. That's all it takes. All right, everybody, I hope this episode helped at least one of you out there to figure out how to bring back the love of Beer League into your life. As I end every episode with, I say please, on whatever platform you're listening to this on, give a like, give a subscribe. Send these episodes off to, you know, a teammate that you think this might be useful for. You know, tell them. You know, it's a very subtle way to maybe tell somebody that they should look for a new team. Send them this and go, hey, have you heard this before? Hint, hint. All right, thanks, everybody, for listening. And we'll catch you in the next one.

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